i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
3 2 1 whiskey
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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