May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize