okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
