your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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