it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
