I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
