If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
