dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
