Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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