Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize