i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
