Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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