She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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