Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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