She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
