Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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