Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
