Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
is it fun? or sober?
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