So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize