Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
