No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
