Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
