So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
