I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
