I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
