and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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