I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
