let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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