it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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