hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
