don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
