i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
