Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
