i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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