nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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