I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love having hate sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
