You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we're so committed to being not committed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
