Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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