Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
