Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
