doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
