i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
