I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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