just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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