turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
