so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This is classic penis vs brain.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
