omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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