May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
third nipple confirmed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
