My friends, they love my intelligence
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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