sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize