Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
