oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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