Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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