she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize