I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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