i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
