you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
