i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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