"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
