He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
