it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
FUCK WHALES
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
