Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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